A Pelvic Health Story
In October of last year, after a particularly stressful period of my life, I woke up one morning with that "not quite right" feeling in my vaginal area. Thinking it would go away, I tried to shrug it off, telling myself it would get better. I even tried to convince myself I was imagining it. After a few weeks, when it in fact wasn't getting better, I went to an urgent care center on Halloween morning for help. You see, we had moved to yet another state (our 3rd state and 4th move in 4 years) and had not yet chosen a new OBGYN. The moves were obviously one of the stressors I had eluded to earlier. The nurse practitioner told me I had a mild bacterial infection and sent me on my way with a 2 day course of antibiotics.
Finally, I thought, relief! Let's take these puppies and move forward and be done with this, never to think about again!
This is my personality: fix me, heal me, make this pain or problem go away so I can move on to my next problem or worry. Never had I had BV before, but most definitely I had lived with a misery or anxiety to overcome, only for the next problem to worry about, usually IMMEDIATELY thereafter. And these were often emotional woes, when I felt out of control. You name it, from work to relationships, to even minor daily annoyances, if there was a perceived worry, I would obsess about it, usually to my own detriment. It would always resolve, often without me having to even DO anything. But this would never stop me from finding something else to be anxious about. I am one of those classic type A perfectionists. This stems from a combination of genes and environment. I could write a book on my background, but honestly, that's a waste of time. You know the type; Hell maybe you ARE the type. Everything must be perfect, if something can go wrong let's be 30 steps ahead of it, glass is half empty, and oh by the way, why can't I be in control of everything type of person. Well you can probably guess where this story is going......
To my dismay, after my 2 day course of antibiotics were done, my pain wasn't gone. In fact, it was worse! I was close to a nervous breakdown and I didn't have a doctor I trusted. Crying and in extreme vaginal pain, I ended up in the ER. This was an extremely embarrassing experience with a male doctor telling me I probably had an STD, even though I insisted this was not the case. Cultures were taken to rule out infections and I was administered 2 different types of antibiotics "just in case". I was told there was nothing else that they could do and I needed to find a gynecologist. After a few days the STD cultures came back negative as I knew they would. When you are married to someone you trust, you just know that's not your situation. Obviously it's important to make sure and I was happy to let the doctors rule it out. I ended up finding a gynecologist a few days later. She examined me, thought they everything looked "normal" and prescribed me boric acid until my now 3rd culture results would come back. After a few days the tests for BV came back positive. I was given yet another antibiotic; this time a 14 day treatment. After the 14 days was over, I still felt really bad. It was now into November, and had been dealing with the pain for about a month. Just typing these words is bringing back all the feelings, emotions, and physical pain that was starting to really wear me down. I went back to the OBGYN and they said that I looked to be completely healthy but that they would send out another culture. This one came back negative, but I still felt like I had a raging infection. It was now December and every test that could be done on my lady parts had been done and everything was negative. The medical professionals were confident I was infection free and just a bit hysterical. Everything would be fine, they told me. I would feel better soon if I could just relax. I, on the other hand, was in misery with unrelenting vaginal, pelvic, and now rectal pain. After being passed around from one of the many practitioners at the office to the next, one of the nurses briefly mentioned pelvic floor physical therapy and I thought she was nuts! I need a pill or a cream or something to make the pain stop. I knew instinctively that something was really wrong. It's not normal to live with an ice pack between your legs in order to numb out pain. I went to a different ER for more help. Cultures were negative and everything looked normal on an ultrasound and cat scan. Finally it was time for me to take control of my own health and start doing my own research about my symptoms and what could possibly be wrong.
Before October 2019 I had never experienced any type of vaginal pain, but for over a decade, I had suffered from on and off urinary frequency, urgency, terrible lower back pain, and occasional pelvic pain. In my google investigations (which yes can be quite scary but in my case I found to be actually very empowering and a life saver), I kept seeing the term Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. The symptoms of vaginal pain, rectal pain, urinary frequency, back pain, and negative cultures seemed to be describing everything I was feeling. As I reading about treatment options, the only thing that kept popping up was Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy. I had recalled how one of the NP's at my OBGYN had suggested it and I had no idea what she was talking about at the time. She never said she thought I had Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD) or explained it to me. PFD can present with lots of different symptoms and can have a variety of different physiological or psychological causes. Men can also be diagnosed with PFD. At the bottom of my post there's a link for more information on the condition.
While living on pain killers and muscle relaxers during the Christmas break that will never be forgotten, I dug through google and did exhaustive research on pelvic floor physical therapy. I found a therapist in my area and had to wait until January for my first appointment. Waiting was hell, but what could I do? When the appointment day finally arrived, I was so relieved. She listened to me and validated what I had been feeling. And she was confident that she could help me. Finally it felt like I had some answers and the proper treatment protocol. She confirmed what a urogynecologist (bet you never heard of one of those!) had already discovered: extremely tight muscles that were in a constant state of spasm, unable to relax. This was the cause of my pain. Its primary treatment is physical therapy, and the good news is that therapy treatment is quite successful. PFD can occur for a variety of reasons, but one very common cause is high stress. Very anxious people are quite often diagnosed with PFD. Maybe you get a headache or neck/shoulder pain when you have stress; I get pelvic pain.
After a few months of weekly internal (yes, internal) therapy, medication, daily stretches, pain injection treatments, and health and lifestyle changes (I will have a future post on changes to my diet), I finally started feel some relief. After 4 or 5 months of weekly physical therapy the pain was quite minimal. By month 6 the pain was gone. It has been 8 months since I started therapy, and I feel like my "normal" self most of the time. I still have to go to therapy weekly and do my stretches at home daily, but I do not need medications at this point. PFD is a chronic, often diagnosed, condition with varying symptoms. It can be managed, but it never goes away. One of the most effective strategies is stress management. My body literally stopped me dead in my tracks. It told me that the constant anxiety, worry and scurry, and controlling ways just wasn't going to cut it anymore. Burning the wick at both ends is not an option for me. In addition to the physical therapy, seeing a mental health clinician and taking anti anxiety medications was critical for my recovery. If you have pelvic floor dysfunction, you must decrease and manage your stress. It is one of the key components of recovery and remission. The things that I have found helpful include: mediation, being mindful and staying "present", gratitude, learning to say no so that I do not overburden myself, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. All of these things have helped me regain my life. I didn't realize it but I was slowly killing myself, one worry at a time. PFD may always be a part of me, but it will not control me.
-Alexis
For more information on PFD :
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